978-0446534932
$24.99 320 pages;
Non-fiction
US, Canada, open Market

One of the world's leading authorities on deception, scholar Robert Feldman's groundbreaking work on lying is surprising and sobering.

One of his most striking findings, which he has tested repeatedly, is that new acquaintances will lie to each other about three times in the course of a ten minute conversation. These may seem to be so-called "little white lies" – innocent evasions like "I feel fine" or "I like your dress" or "You were amazing," but those lies exact a cost, according to Feldman. When we know we're being dishonest, we feel less trusting about our environment and the people around us. And those little lies create a climate for greater deceptions.

Feldman explodes a few of the myths about lying. There is no relationship between the traits we associate with lying – nervousness or shifty eyes or a tremulous voice – and dishonesty. At the same time, it's a lot easier for us to lie with conviction than most of us realize. Liars have an inherent advantage in society.

You may not be able to detect a liar, but there are ways of dealing with the liars in your life, and Professor Feldman explores how to cope with infidelity, betrayal, or mistrust. He also explains how children learn to lie. In fact, a big part of this book is recognizing that sometimes, the biggest liar in your life is the person you see in the mirror. We can't detect lies in other people, but this book will certainly help many people recognize the lies we tell ourselves every day, and ultimately, help us lead a more honest life.